It is hard for us to let go of the dreams that have formed in our imaginations of what we want our life to look like, but holding on to them can be the most dangerous opponent to the plans God has for our lives.
Below is an excerpt from my personal journal written recently:
The man I am becoming . . . The man You want me to become . . . has and will continue to only come through pain and trial.
It has been a long road on this journey so far with You . . . Sometimes I didn't think I was going to make it out alive . . . both literally in the physical or it's how it felt through the intangible emotions that stormed within me.
And what parts of me did die as you allowed them, they were reborn and re-made by Your hand, rightly aligning with Your heart's desire for mine.
No, the truth is that the man I will become will come only through fire . . . through storm, and the wild untamed nature that is Your constant pursuit of my heart.
I feel I have dreamed for so long that the realities of those dreams coming true are a little too real for comfort. Those realities becoming . . . how does that saying go? "Harder than you thought they'd be."
The dreams I've had, some of which when I was a younger boy . . .
As they breach and come up for air in my life now, after being asleep for so long within me in the world of intangibles . . .
I realize Im in over my head. I realize this is not at all how I thought things would play out . . . would become.
Yet, this is what I wanted . . . what I spent years longing for.
It's funny how the promises of God look so much different before they actually begin to take shape in your life.
It reminds me of the movie Sully where Tom Hank's character Sully Sullenberger and Aaron Eckhart's character First Officer Jeff Skiles had to go before the National Transportation Safety Board (N.T.S.B.) where they were questioned and challenged for the decisions they made during their emergency landing into the Hudson River in 2009.
I loved how baffled the N.T.S.B. was after finding that taking out the two heroic pilots from the equation toward the circumstantial parameters of the event, all attempts made through simulations failed to safely land the big Airbus after losing thrust in both engines.
What should have been impossible for the Captain and his First Officer proved to only be possible in the quick decisions they made during the actual event, as unorthodox as those decisions may have seemed to those who were not in that horrific situation.
The promises of God to me are very similar.
He tells us we will land safely and we will make it to where we are going . . . But He doesn't tell us how it will be possible or what it will look like along the way getting there.
He only gives the promise of hope that we will make it there.
We simply cannot take Him out of the picture . . . for without Him, we fail.
That's how the promises of God work.
He is the part of the equation that cannot be removed without failure being the consequence.
Within the hopeless parameters of our lives, He is the pilot who makes it possible and what was once hopeless for us becomes Hope himself.
When He gives us a promise, usually our first reaction is a bit like this:
Judges 6:14
"Then the Lord turned to him and said, "Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel form the Midianites. I am sending you!"
God told Gideon two keys things here. He told Him to "go with the strength you have" and He went as far as to affirm Him saying, "I am sending you," in case there was any doubt otherwise.
Now in the very next verse . . .
Verse 15
"But Lord," Gideon replied, "how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the whole tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least in my entire family!"
"How?! That doesn't make sense!" our logic reasons with us.
"How could it happen . . . and in this way??" the voice of doubt throws a fit after looking at the "evidence" around us. Our fear fights for control after seeing the possibility of failure or pain as the outcome saying, "Shouldn't we try a different way . . . a much safer way?!"
What God sees just doesn't compute with not only what we see but with our thoughts reacting to what we see.
Why is that our reaction?
It is usually because we conclude with these thoughts:
"I don't know how to so I can't do that . . ."
"I can't choose that because I don't desire it that way . . ."
"So that's just not possible."
But, what are all those thoughts above lacking?
They ironically lack the One who gave the promise in the first place!
They lack the Promise Giver.
What good is a promise without the one in whom it came from?
It's pointless and useless and without any real merit or value without the one who gave the promises backing it up and actually keeping it.
So why is our first reaction to God's promises usually to basically remove Him altogether.
Here are how some responded to God's promises, and we may find them familiar in our own responses to Him . . .
"Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?"
-Moses
(according to scripture, after laughing to himself in disbelief)
"How could I become a father at the age of 100? he thought. "And how can Sarah have a baby when she is ninety years old?"
-Abraham
"Heaven forbid, Lord," he said. "This will never happen to you!"
-Peter
Now I am not saying we take on the role of God intentionally, but we do typically do that.
Somehow we seem to think that when He speaks to us and promises something, it now depends on us to figure out what it will look like and make it happen . . . so it starts to look hopeless simply because we are very aware of our weaknesses and shortcomings.
Other times we may find ourselves making plans and goals for the things we think He wants.
He sets a desire in our hearts and we take off running full force in a direction that we have interpreted for it.
My mom said as a boy she would ask me to go and get something for her and before I would let her finish the instructions of where to find what it was she wanted, I was off!
Soon after, I would come back sort of confused and frustrated because I wasn't sure why I couldn't find it. She said I would do that a few times before she actually was able to finish giving me all the necessary information.
Sound familiar?
How often do we do that with God?
Whether we take something God tells us and reject it because it doesn't seem possible to us, or we go running off in our own interpretation of what we think it is He wants, they both take Him out of the equation of actually making the promise come to fruition.
Only with Him can His promises happen, regardless of our reaction to it.
I did that in college. I had a small sense or idea of what I thought my calling was so I acted on it and started making plans and setting goals for my life. I thought I was including God but it turns out I was way off.
I knew I was called to music . . . so I pursued a degree in music at the University of North Texas. That never panned out. I never would have imagined I would be leading worship and serving the Bride of Christ in all the musical capacity I am able to. I was way wrong about where I thought music would take me in which I didn't need a degree for, but that was my misinterpretation and pride caused me to think I could figure it out on my own.
I was in the Air Force Reserve Officers' Training Corps program in part of my time in college soon to contract the following summer to become a jet fighter pilot. That didn't pan out either. I was wrong in where I ran with my passion to fight for a greater cause mixed with a newly found love of flying.
It had been a dream of mine for years to become a jet fighter pilot . . . but it had to die because what God was calling me to later on would prove to be a greater cause to fight for than I could have ever imagined I would be apart of.
Now I fight for hearts . . . and fight for the freedom of those who God sets fire in me to pursue to help break the chains binding His bride . . . His church.
I pursued a degree in Journalism at some point during my college career because of my passion for writing. I've loved writing since I was a boy. My dreams were to write for a magazine and travel the world, living off the adventures I longed to experience. I was again far off from what God had planned even though the passions and desires were right.
Now I write music and articles and perhaps one day a book to help inspire and give testament to all God has revealed to me in my journey with Him. I also have been able to travel all over the world, not knowing that me giving up what I thought was right for my life would end up becoming a dream come true now.
Finally, I decided I would pursue a Christian Counseling degree thinking to myself, "Surely this is it!"
After finishing all but a semester and some change, I felt Him tell me to quit college all together as if I needed to be told, "Chris, you have been wrong about where I want to take you with your desires and gifting and passions so it's time to let go of what you keeping thinking is My plan for your life."
It's funny how we put together our most elaborate schemes, planning our lives out how we imagine them and slap God's "stamp of approval" on it to make ourselves feel better.
It wasn't until I was at the end of myself and done running off with half of the instructions on where He wanted me to go that I finally found all He had for me.
He allowed me to run off and He waited until I came back to Him confused and scratching my head in wondering why things weren't working out quite right.
Our desires and passions often times reveal our calling, but without God leading us in what we are beginning to imagine for our future, we can stray far from where we were intended to head now.
It is hard for us to let go of the dreams that have formed in our imaginations of what we want our life to look like, but holding on to them can be the most dangerous opponent to the plans God has for our lives.
It becomes almost a filter we see everything through and it leaves our Creator at the mercy of our own interpretation of how our lives should look.
We may miss what is right in front of us . . . perhaps His promises unraveling right under our noses . . . now . . . right now!
Thankfully though He is patient with us in how He leads us away from the lesser things we cook up in our hearts and wins our trust to follow Him to the much greater and perfect things He has had all along for our lives.
We don't let go of our dreams and imagined goals and passions for our lives like we are letting go of a balloon, watching it helplessly as it floats away never to be seen again.
It is more like we are trading our little balloon filled with helium for the hot-air balloon He has waiting for us to embark into adventures we could have never dreamed up or imagined on our own.
He must be kept within our dreaming . . . our ambitions . . . our goals . . . our passions and desires . . . and yes, even our daily pursuits.
He longs to be a part of our lives in the most detailed way, but for us, He must be a part of the calling we feel is on our lives.
Take some time right now to reflect on some dreams that have grown over the years . . . perhaps things you feel called to.
Maybe you think you've invested too much already into something you've always wanted . . . emotionally, maybe financially . . . and that's okay. Again, it doesn't mean they will be lost forever when given up, because He will not let you give up on the ones that are from Him.
But the exchange must come first before the promise. We must come to Him with our hands empty and not holding on to our "little balloons."
When you have thought about those dreams and goals and passions and desires, invite Him in, right there. Ask Him what He thinks.
Now look at your hands . . . open and empty . . . and tell Him:
"God these are your hands . . ."
In that moment, begin to lay down every dream . . . every goal you have set for your life . . . every passionate desire you've felt flowing within your heart.
Release it to Him and as you see your hands empty and freed up, keep them that way!
Trust Him to fulfill the promises that He has indeed given you, and be willing to let go of all that is not.
After all . . . isn't pleasing Him the most fulfilling part of our journey?
