Do Not Be Surprised

When we run from difficultly, we run from growth

    How you approach what is difficult is how you will deal with reality. 

If you run from the difficult things, you also will run from reality . . . at least the reality that is considered negative or uncomfortable.

And when you run from reality, you actually end up missing hearts, opportunities, and will ultimately hurt those around you. 

This is because you are first hurting yourself. 

How?

Those things we run from are the very things that bring growth. 

How often do we mistake comfort for the "peace" we say God is using to lead us by?

I have seen so many people and myself more so buckle under difficulties and say things like, "I just don't have a peace about it anymore."

What are we really saying?

That God isn't in something if it is hard?

That He doesn't actually desire us to go through something difficult?

Oh dear . . .

That we should plead humbly on our knees for maturity to see that God does not just cause good feelings and harbor is away from all the negative emotions we face. 

His peace is never at the mercy of our circumstances. 

In fact, in the midst of any form of negative emotion, if we would only humble ourselves and be broken and not try to be strong in facing it, He promises He will not turn us away. 

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"You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice You desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God."

-Psalm 51:16-17

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    How we embrace difficulties is how we will embrace the realities of ourselves and who we are and becoming. 

How we see difficulties is how we will see ourselves and the realities of the world around us. 

The truth is, God does cause us to not only walk through pain and difficulties, but also, when we choose to, He causes our growth through them. 

It isn't that He just wants us to grow up. 

No, that would be an unfortunate way of looking at it for maturity would than loose much of its beauty for something so much less than. 

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" . . . But we also glory in or sufferings because we know that suffering builds perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope."

-Romans 5:3-4

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    How many of us want hope... ask for hope... almost demand hope, especially from God. 

Yet, how many of us ask for the suffering in which developed that hope, cultivates it, and brings it to fruition in our lives?

Now it would or at least might be silly to ask for suffering. 

But as it is written in the scriptures, shouldn't we first measure the cost of what we are wanting to build before we ever begin to build it?

We pray for the blessing of hope, yet we curse in the envelope in which it arrives. 

We sing in songs and talk amongst fellow believers this romantic idea of growing and maturing, yet when God gives us opportunities to grow and mature, we run.

And we use Him as an excuse . . . 

"Well, I just don't have a peace about it . . . so it must not be God."

Yet, when things are going awesome for us, we sure don't hesitate to say things like, "That had to have been the Lord!"

If we actually knew what peace from God meant, it would be much more clear than "good feelings."

Good feelings come and go... anxiety and fear attack us regardless of what peace we carry from God. 

The difference is the peace of God, as the scriptures tell us, surpasses all understanding . . . which simply means it does not have to make sense to us.(Philippians 4:7)

God's peace is never at the mercy of our circumstances. 

Us feeling good or bad about something is and never should be a sign of His peace, for that is still going off of what we understand or don't. 

That is watering down the peace in which He gives us to our level instead of the Grace in which empowers us to face any circumstance no matter how hard or seemingly impossible. 

How we approach what is difficult is how we will in-turn approach what is reality.

When we run from difficultly, we run from growth. 

If we need to run, let us run to God every time, no matter what. 

And if being obedient means facing something that we would typically run from, than we should trust Him to give us the Grace that empowers us to be able to do it. 

I will leave you with this last verse . . . in the hopes that you take some time as I will as well to let this sink to where we tend to run from difficulties.

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"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which is taking place to test you [that is, to test the quality of your faith], as though something strange or unusual were happening to you."

-1 Peter 4:12

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    I think we would be completely shocked at the extravagant extent God will move on our behalf when we just stick out the hard things in life He wants us to stick out. 

For I believe that something incredible awaits every trial and every tough circumstance, with Him. 

Pain That Sticks

"Why do I run from You as if You desire harm towards me?"

Below is a personal journal entry written a few days ago:

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It's become very clear . . . more so it seems every day that You want me to give myself away. 

Constantly . . . giving my time . . . giving my emotions, my listening ear . . . my empathy and compassion towards hearts around me . . . constantly giving of myself. 

The hard part is the emptiness I often times feel. 

The hard part is not having much returned back to me . . . at least not in the same capacity or amount given. 

I so often look to others to fulfill what only You can give me . . . what could at any possibility replenish even close to what I give . . . only You can do that. 

It's funny to me how that works. 

I've got a need You've given me for companionship, for relationship with other brothers and sisters in You, yet they cannot offer me what it would take to refill what I've given away. 

How does that work?

Does it keep me dependent on You?

Surely that cannot be the only reason. 

The fact is this:

I was created to be refilled and replenished to full capacity by You. 

I was created to be refreshed and renewed by only You. 

So many times that is not what I desire sadly. 

So many times I want it to be people . . . a relationship to be that thing that replenishes me back to health . . . back to capacity. 

That may look different depending on where our journey together has taken us, You and me, Father. 

Sometimes that's taking a long walk together in the quiet darkness of an evening alone with You. 

Other times You provide me with a companion to get away with and You refresh me through that experience. 

Other times it can be a simple 30minutes of my day where me and You have a conversation on a page in my journal where You listen to me rant and respond by speaking truth and life into me. 

Regardless of what it looks like, I am left with a decision to make. 

Do I run to You for what I need before I direct my heart to anything or anyone else?

That decision is always something I have to choose. 

You never make me or force me to run to You. 

You simply make it known what You desire of me and You allow me to hunger and thirst for the life only You can offer me. 

I so wish sometimes that I could indeed find my life in other things or others . . . but it will never be enough. Relationships will never be enough. Time spent doing things even I enjoy could never be enough. 

My soul is too desirous and much too ravenous to be truly satisfied by anything or anyone else but You. 

To admit this means to accept this truth for what it is and submit to its order and way. 

What is it in me that fights this?

Why do I run from You as if You desire harm towards me?

Surely all the pain I have ever felt couldn't possibly have closed me off to running to You first. 

But that is the depravity of my sinful nature in which I have now been redeemed because of Jesus and me receiving His sacrifice on my behalf.

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    What's amazing to me after re-reading this passage I wrote days ago, I can see that deep down there is an unsettling pain that God allows to burrow deep within us as it brings us to inevitably face a reality we often times run from.

That reality being that we live a life of pain.

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"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart because I have overcome the world."

- Jesus

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    We were not given a way out of the pain. We were given a trump card with an inevitable reality because of the fallen world we live in. We were given a victory . . . a solution . . . and it is only found in God through the relationship now available to us because of the greatest and most extravagant gift by payment of blood.

As an unfaithful wife would act towards the one she betrays, we deserved no better than any man who would react to her unfaithfulness. 

Yet, we know no other love that would look passed our adultery and find the deepest love towards us God pasionately portrays.

As much as we run from our pain, I think we many times run from God as well.

    We know that He is after our hearts . . . and if we don't like what is currently in our hearts, we will most assuredly want to run from Him even though we so desire Him and desperately need Him.

This is the pain that sticks.

It will not just go away. It is meant to not, for it is meant to point us to a reality that we can never escape.

Sure, there are plenty of ways we can look the other way or temporality pacify the emptiness or loneliness or discomfort found in pain, but there is only one remedy.

He is the very creator of our every detailed make-up of who we are.

He is the best friend we would ever know.

He is the greatest protector we would ever see in our every-day lives.

He is the most passionate lover of our being we will ever know.

He is every part of anything we would have ever desired and dreamed of and so much more.

The pain that sticks is sometimes the very thing that leads us to Him. Through humble abandonment to ourselves, it sometimes is the thing that prods us to finally reaching for a hand that was always there all along . . . the one of our loving Savior.

Not Alone

He made a way so that He could be right there with us in the midst of our darkness

    As I was driving home the other day, the song "Broken Vessels" by Hillsong popped into my head and I began to sing it out loud. I often do that when songs come, because I know it's God's Spirit moving me to just sing. It's not even always a worship song, but it's just a simple way He sometimes uses to move my heart and soul into a good place. 

Whether I need a reminder of who He is or a reminder of who I am because of Him, I try really hard now and days not to think about it too much but to just sing . . . and I never regret it. Singing is such a simple thing, whether we think we are good or not, it is a necessary part of what our souls need. I have found it shouldn't be for others any more than it is actually for our pleasure . . . and of course, for God's pleasure. Sometimes there is not any words except for a song that could make sense of what's going on inside of us. 

    As I was singing that song to God and driving down the country road I often take to get home, in the background the sun was setting in painted neon colors mixed of salmon faded into blue-violet. In that moment my eyes slightly filled with water and salt as the lyrics of the song washed over me sinking into a deep reservoir in my heart. 

As the lyrics of that song came softly from my voice they reminded me I am not alone in my sin.

"I once was lost but now I am found..."

We are not alone in our sin.

You are not alone in your sin.

    Jesus literally chose, instead of looking the other way and staying separate from us, to meet us right where we are now . . . here. By His relentless pursuit that I did not deserve, I am forever never alone in the weight of myself. He made a way so that he could be right there with us in the midst of our darkness in messes and screw-ups and failures. 

So many times we act like the opposite is true, yet Him dwelling inside of us means now He is always there, always. He doesn't pick and choose looking away when we are really bad but sticking close when we are behaving. We try and try and try to be better men, better husbands . . . better fathers, yet we try and try and try on our own because we are often ashamed of who we are right now. 

I think we try to almost fix ourselves before we want to acknowledge a Holy God who we know we are in the midst of.

It just doesn't work that way. 

    It reminds me of a child wanting to hide from someone so instead of actually hiding themselves physically, they hide themselves mentally. They put their hands over their face, covering their eyes because at least their mind doesn't see the person they want to hide from even though they know that person can still obviously see them.

We do that with God. We pull an Adam in the garden of Eden after The Fall wanting so badly to hide that he does so in his own strength in order to feelhidden from his creator. We know better though . . .

>>Genesis 3:8-9 “When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. Then the Lord God called to the man, “”Where are you?”

    What a deeply sorrowful heartbreak that must have been for our Creator. To have His precious creation hiding themselves from Him. Something deep down sinks in me when I read that verse . . . partly because I see such a passionate desire for God to have closeness with us, the opposite of hiding. The other part of heavy sadness from this comes from this simply truth: 

That’s me too.

That isn’t just Adam, it is all of the human race after Adam and Eve.

    As I read that passage of scripture, It deeply hurts my heart to see that part of God and the heartbreak it must have caused Him to feel His precious creation having hidden themselves from Him.

How often do we hide from Him?

How often does God ask us that?

“Where are you, son? Why are you hiding? I can still see you . . . but you can’t see me. Why are you hiding?”

The truth is we feel like we must hide our nakedness from Him because the deepest honesty reveals we don’t believe we are indeed a precious and wondrous creation at all.

All we see are flaws and broken areas that we want to hide . . . so we put on grand facades in a world set on rewarding those who choose to join in on its great mascaraed celebration.

Celebration of what? Being separate from God?

The world rewards these thing, but our loving Father does not.

In fact, His spirit living inside of us is at war with this very thing, fighting for our hearts to open back up to Him without shame or guilt of our nakedness before Him.
In fact, He knows very well who he made us to be. He also knows who we could become, and that is all he sees. 

That is all He cares to see . . . is what is for our good.

It doesn't shock God when we sin no more than it should shock us when a father is loving to his children. 

How much more is our Heavenly Father loving towards us?

We are simply not alone in our failures, our mistakes, and our shortcomings. 

Our sin and messiness, our anger and lack of self-control, our lustful thoughts, and our envious desires. 

They all fall short of being greater than the One who is with us always.

Here is a challenge . . .

The next time you screw up and do something or say something you shouldn't have, right there where you are, acknowledge God is there. 

Right there in the midst of whatever comes after... whether it's shame from a sin you keep doing over and over... or guilt for someone you hurt... right there in the moment of your son's aftermath, acknowledge He is right there with you in it.

You are not alone.