Sometimes it seems as if everything happens all at once only to lead you to another moment where things seem to happen all at once all over again
As I watched my wife curled up on our couch asleep, I guess it all just started to hit me that if she was pregnant, how much everything would change.
A part of me was terrified of just simply not knowing what it would all look like or what to expect.
It was as if we were entering into a huge storm in the open ocean with no body around.
That’s at least what it felt like.
At the same time, I saw how peaceful she was asleep and how much we both wanted to have children.
In that moment, I was overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts.
I sort of half-grinned in the most sober way as I thought, “So this is what a young man goes through when they enter the unknowns of this particular part of their journey.”
Although I would imagine it won’t always feel so “unknown“ is about the same for every young man first experiencing what I am now.
I went for a jog later that evening.
It eventually and reluctantly turned into a very slow walk as I could feel God wanting me to slow down so we could talk.
That usually happens when I’ve been going and going without any breaks to explore my own heart and connect with His.
It was hard at first to just be honest about what I was feeling and to be honest with the million random thoughts scattered around in the chaos of my head.
I was weary from not having any point of reference to make sense of any of it.
I remember being there at that exact same paved jogging trail many times before, with a heavy heart, taking much needed slow walks with God.
I was single then.
Now, as I looked down at my left hand, things had changed.
I had a beautiful bride asleep back at the house and the possibility of her being pregnant.
Things were definitely different and I found myself wanting everything to slow down.
Not that anything felt wrong or out of place . . . but I was feeling sort of “behind” in processing everything that had happened and was going on then.
Sometimes it seems as if everything happens all at once only to lead you to another moment where things happen all at once all over again.
Eventually after enough of those moments, you either never get to really process them or they begin to pile up inside of you.
I think most of us walk around with the latter.
So as I walked slowly along the paved trail, across the creek, I saw some lights strung up over a little porch area in someone’s backyard.
It looked as if they were in the middle of putting them up because the ladder was still there but must have called it a night or taken a break.
There was something so honest and human about seeing that.
And in that moment God began to remind me gently that everyone is just living life . . . living the life they have and doing the best they can to live it.
All in a glimpse it seemed so clear to me, to just keep walking out each day.
To just enjoy and passionately embrace all God is doing, right where I am.
To just keep giving all of myself to every step God leads me in taking.
God showed me a quick snippet, a vision of a possible future.
I starting imagining my wife standing in our home with a big baby bump and us putting up some decorations with the fire place going behind us.
It gave me hope.
It reset my perspective.
God reminded me in the simplest way the path I am on right now, to not miss the moments that will offer themselves only once to me.
It took slowing down to remember life will blow right past you very quickly if you let it.
