Meet Joe

What God takes away or gives us now in our life hinges on the calling and purposes He has for our future

    We only have less than the thing we dream about without actually having it . . . whether it is a big dream or small dream, that's just how we see it. I believe it is meant to be that way so we don't go through life thinking we have all we are meant to have. 

What we desire is usually a reflection of what we are called to.

This is at least true to a degree, although where we take that dream in our thoughts determines how closely true it actually is to what God wants for our lives.

At the same time, I don't think God wants us living in a way that leaves us crippled and less of a human being because we don't have that thing we desire.

Eventually, God aligns our desires with His will, and when that happens, there is a great peace in knowing that, in the right timing, He will give us what His dreams for our life has been all along.

But we first have to surrender our own dreams so we can have the vacancy in our hearts for His dreams to land.

    Joe is a 98' Forest-Green Jeep Wrangler with a four liter V6 engine in it. It's lifted 6 inches and runs on 35" tires. Over the years he has had some modifications and upgraded parts due to his older age . . . I mean, he is 20 years old now! He is getting up there for sure!

He has been with me through a lot of my younger years, almost through all of my twenties, so you can imagine the adventures me and him have had.

I know I am not the only guy out there who takes a serious bond to inanimate objects . . . it's just what we do.

But, aside from what our strange shared masculine tendencies are concerned, to me, Joe is more than just a Jeep. 

Let me explain . . .

    Before I had the Jeep, I drove my dad's 86' Chevy Blazer. It was brown and tan and black. We shared a vehicle because I didn't have my own and my dad was generous enough to let me drive his.

I wanted a lifted vehicle really bad. I would dream of a smaller truck like a Toyota Tacoma or Jeep or even an old Suzuki Samurai (remember those!). 

I remember I would sit on top of a folded up tarp to make me sort of taller in my that' Blazer. I drove it through high school and into the first years of college. The thing lost its ability to provide air condition, so for a few years I drove it through miserable Texas summers. But I learned to just be thankful for having a vehicle and I was at least appreciative for it having a really good heater in the winters.

Although that is all I had . . . that old 86' Blazer, in my heart, I wanted more.

I had settled on wanting a Jeep so I would use a water bottle and pretend it was a stick shifter because I knew most Jeeps came with manual transmission.

I would do that because I hoped one day I would have what I wanted . . . what I truly desired.

I had a hope for something I couldn't see but had a measurable hope for, so to me, it wasn't silly pretending to drive a manual transmission vehicle.

In my mind I was practicing for what "Might be the real thing some day."

I would shift away, practicing how I thought in my head it would be to drive my future Jeep one day . . . And I would think to myself, "One day."

That kept my hope alive . . . the thought of one day having my desires not just met but also manifested into something tangible.

    Sure, I was much more innocent back then and hadn't gone through as much pain and disappointment and heart break I have experienced on the journey up to now, but still, God gave me that Jeep . . . the Jeep I desired.

He eventually gave me what I dreamt of and it was a special gift I knew very well that came in detailed portion from His hands.

I wasn't making much money during the time I was driving the Blazer around so I knew to get a newer vehicle, the practical side was I needed to be making more money to be able to make the payments each month.

So when I was hired at Home Depot, I knew the Jeep would soon follow.

Sure enough, it did.

It wasn't but months later that I found Joe in an add online. 

I feel like this could have been some silly commercial for how guys can be with new "toys" but I literally ran up to the Jeep and just knew it was the one I had been dreaming of.

I had waited years for it . . . driving that no-air-conditioned piece of heaven my dad owned and searching and searching through different Jeeps to finally come to the place where it was just the right time.

Everything seemed to settle in and fit and it was all so clear that it was not only right but a dream come true.

That was what seemed to be an unspoken promise I just knew God had revealed to me.

    The same day I bought the Jeep, I drove it to my girlfriend's house . . . granted, I didn't know how to drive a manual transmission aside from practicing with a water bottle, so I taught myself on the way to her house.

I stalled a few times, but no joke, that silly preparation I did in that Blazer set me up to not only receiving the blessing of having my desires fulfilled, but also set me up to be able to handle it properly.

I would later look back at that story, so seemingly perfect of how  we should hope and have faith and wait for the promises of God, but realizing it wasn't a formula.

There is no equation to what God has for us.

In fact, it may look worse before it looks up . . .  and it may not seem like anything is happening.

It wasn't all good feelings and just innocent faith in that story.

It was hard waiting for that day when I met Joe for the first time.

There were lots of Jeeps that were close to what I wanted . . . that had everything except a few things I didn't.

I had to let those "lesser" options go to wait for the real deal . . . the promise God had for me.

Anything less than what God had for us will never work out in the end.

    I remember specifically going to look at an old brown CJ7 Jeep. It was lifted and had some big tires on it. I loved how old it was and was drawn to its unique brown color and vintage rugged appearance. 

I was looking at it on the surface for what I saw and I desired it as such, caught up in the moment.

Sound familiar?

At the time and through my eyes and perspective, it was perfect.

But God knew better and saw things differently because He knew what He had in store for me if I waited.

He knew that even more so than a "cool" looking vehicle, I would need something just for me . . . and over the years of having Joe, I can totally see how it was the perfect vehicle for me.

But only God can see that. We definitely can't.

Left to our own devices, we will always choose what is less than because we simply do not know what we truly need and deeply want.

    It was so hard to let that Jeep go because I knew deep down it was settling for something better, even though that "something better" was not there and the "better" thing God had was not.

I was disappointed, sure, but do you think I felt that same disappointment when I met Joe?

    I am so grateful I passed that brown Jeep by to end up receiving what God had for me.

It came at the sacrifice of saying "No" to everything else and it came at the price of waiting for what God had, but it didn't make it any less worth it in the end.

Me and Joe have since been through a lot over the past decade. Through my twenties (which seems like each year amounted to two or three), we have been through . . . through changing seasons of transition in my life like in and out of college and jobs . . . churches and ministries . . . through break-ups and heart-breaks.

    He doesn't look the same now as he did when I first bought him. He once looked so clean and new. Now he is beat up and shows proof of all the adventures we went on.

But isn't that how the journey goes? At first we are clean and new . . . and over the years we gain scars and stories along side those scars that tell of the adventure we have been on.

What is cool is God gave me something that He knew would help me through life. That Jeep has become a tangible icon of adventure that I feel deep in my heart.

What God takes away or gives us now in our life hinges on the calling and purposes He has for our future.

     He will not give you less the what you will need for who He has called you to be and what He has called you to do . . . not if He is the one who provided it.

So what He closes the doors to now is only because He has something else that is probably perfectly suited for uniquely you and also what you will need to live out the life He has for you.

Having Joe is more than just having a really cool Jeep.

God proved Himself once and for all that He not only knows exactly what I wanted then as much as what I would even still want now, but He knew what I would need for the journey He would lead me through.

---

We all have a many "Joe" in our lives.

What is that thing for you?

What are those desires deep in your heart . . . the thing that seems like a promise from God . . . what is that?

God wants to be more important than the thing itself . . . and if having it is more important than what He wants for you, it's time to let it go.

It may be time to let a lot of things go . . . things you have held on to for years.

He sees your desires and knows exactly what you need and what you will desire truly for the rest of your life.

Let Him not only be the one who gives you the desires in the first place, but also the one who causes them to become something you can see and touch.

---

Wonder

So, we were made to wonder, but never meant to do it alone and on our own.

    We are in a constant state of wonder . . .

It draws us out. It keeps us from becoming too comfortable with what we know and leads us with allure and curiosity to venture outside the bounds of certainty. 

Even in the smallest every-day questions we still wonder, and wonder is what we were created to do, among many other things.  

It brings life to our great journey here on earth, giving almost a sense of purpose to cling to as we take each step forward. 

We wonder so we take a step. 

We are curious so we scoot closer . . . press in and push through until our questions have been answered.

Wonder, if we allow it, leads to discovery.

    Oh how rich the reward in which could be ours when we discover something we never have before. I believe that is one of the ways God draws us to His heart . . . beyond religious dutiful obsessions and empty works of our motivations and intentions. It makes something real to us that maybe before was only a matter-of-fact.

Wonder speaks to the language of our heart, which is knowing through experiencing rather than just knowing about it.

Wonder bellows past anything that is the fat and is leaned out to the rawness of our desires and passions and longings to cause us to step into what truly lies within the seemingly deep uncharted sea that is our hearts.

The beautiful part is this . . .

God welcomes us to wonder, even if it begins with a mess, but He only wants to be involved to lead us in our wondering. 

    He never has rejected me when I have come to Him with questions . . . with my wonderings . . . for He knows my heart was born with many. In fact it doesn't surprise Him, but offers an opportunity to draw close to me while I approach Him with what it is that I am wondering about. He is our Father. He is the best father we could ever hope for, always patient with our questions and never annoyed by our curiosity.

Many times in fact, it has indeed drawn me closer to Him to ask Him questions and invite Him into the places of my heart that are wondering many different things. It has instead turned my focus from everything else to Him, where I find Him filling a need in me that only He could in the first place. 

If you have believed you will offend God by questions you maybe think of as "faithless" or ones that would openly admit you don't actually trust Him like you want to . . . that doesn't take Him by surprise. He knows our hearts and knows our thoughts . . . and knows where we are coming from. He invites us to have the kind of relationship that warrants intimacy through simply being ourselves, even if that means we are questioning maybe where He is in our lives while going through difficulties. The closeness He desires with us won't ever come from us being "good enough" doing "good things" because we could never earn the place only Jesus could make possible.

That's not what He signed up for when He chose us long ago, for Him to place conditions on whether we could come to Him with our wonderings or not.  

He knows that with us comes mess, imperfection, and questions. 

    I can't help but think of how children ask their parents about a hundred questions each day. Their curiosity sometimes gets ahead even of what they can absorb because they may sometimes ask the same question more than once. As much as a parent loves their kid, eventually it can get tiresome having a small human wondering with a seemingly never ending thought-processor rivaling NASA's super computers. At the same time, I have seen the great expense of patience flow from a loving parent that most likely could only come from that parent and no one else!

Yet, if we as humans can even be remotely understanding in dealing with and helping  a child's wonderfully developing mind, how much more would our perfect Father who has chosen to live amongst us and in us simply to be closer to us listen to our never ending load of questions?

    What a bond . . . what a closeness and unfathomable intimacy it would build between us and Him if we would allow Him to be a part of our wonderings. 

I often ask Him, "Father, what do you think about this?"

I long to know His perspective on the things I face and go through, good and bad and I often desperately need to hear His voice in the midst of my tireless wonderings, for it brings truth to a confusion of lies . . . and peace to the endless crashing waves of life's diverse situations.

I have made enough mistakes and have failed enough times to know that without Him, my vision becomes dark and I don't see clearly. 

I ask Him questions quite often . . . and I wait for Him to answer.

We were made to wonder.

    He always answers but He doesn't always answer in the way we want or even expect. Sometimes I am asking the wrong questions because my thoughts are wondering the wrong thing because what I'm seeing is causing my perspective to be focused on the wrong part. 

But we are still made to wonder.

The beauty though is it all becomes very clear and sure and certain after hearing Him. 

So, we were made to wonder, but never meant to do it alone and on our own.

    I remember when I was a boy, I would ask my dad a million questions. I looked to him as the guy who had an answer for every little thing I would wonder about and he rarely would ever say he didn't know because he usually could at the very least give his opinion or theories about whatever it was I was wondering. It gave me a great sense of security being able to go to Him with my many questions. 

I say that because with all those unanswered questions, I felt completely insecure and unsure about everything. 

It's funny how that works . . . where we look for security and how simple it actually is when we find it. 

In that same way, we were meant to find security in our Father God who knows exactly what we are actually wondering about. It is funny when He answers my questions with something I would have not thought about or even saw in my limited perspective. But again, I was not created to find those answers on my own. I was in fact created to have missing pieces which could be found in communing in the most beautifully intimate and deepest relationship I have ever known with Him.

And it all starts with wonder.

It is where we find ourselves gazing at the stars in all their brilliant and captivating light show that leaves us with more questions than answers . . . and in the end, we simply just must say, "Wow, they are beautiful."

    Approaching God can sometimes be that way. We typically have much more questions than answers, yet there is an inevitable case that is stated after seeing the incredible extent He has gone to in order to love us in the smallest every-day ways and we are left with having to admit, "I may not know exactly who You are, but I have to say, You are wonderfully amazing and beautiful."

People who find themselves questioning God yet looking to human sources for answers will always stay in a place of wonder we were never meant to. Left to our own answers, we stray far from what God intended for us and why He created us to wonder at all. 

Yet we all do that. 

    I remember one night, years ago, I was sharing with my dad some questions I had about a relationship that had me pretty troubled. I remember seeing his face after I asked him what he thought and saying,

"I don't know what to say and I don't want to say the wrong things . . ."

I knew from his face in his heart he felt inadequate and without the proper tools for the job, as most fathers I am sure feel at times. 

But I looked him square in the eyes and told him with all my heart,

"Dad, you don't have to have the right answers. That's not why I came to you in the first place. I just wanted to talk to you about it. I just want you to be my dad . . . I just want to hear what you have to say."

That's all of our hearts represented in that moment. 

The only difference is God never feels inadequate, for we can find the greatest sense of security in knowing that He only comes with truth and lights our path in ways that brings infathamable amounts of hope in the most seemingly hopeless of situations.

---

Right now where you are, take a just a few minutes and instead of trying to "quiet your thoughts" like so many of us try so hard to do, stop!

Instead, begin to allow those thoughts to surface. Let them float to the top of your mind so they are all you see and right in front of your face. 

Stop trying to control them and wrestle them down like an animal from a zoo loose in the streets of your thoughts.

Now point them all to God.

There is no place of fear here . . . no place for shame or hiding.

Don't hide from Him, for He sees everything anyways.

Instead, ask Him what you are wondering.

Your sense of wonder is how He created you.

So be free . . . free to wonder.

Wonder with Him.

---

Who Hope Is

This Hope we have is more wildly untamed than our circumstances as it is an enemy to cynicism and skepticism

What is hope?

I mean to ask, what is hope really?

    I am sure we have an idea of what it means... a rough definition either we have cultivated from the many sermons we may have heard preached and taught... or perhaps have had the honor of a close loved one pour wisdom in the revelations of what hope could be. 

But what is it really?

As with all things, there must be an absolute truth that is rooted at the base of all conceived notions and evolved ideals built up around such a commonly used word such as this. 

    My Mom placed a small rectangle shaped piece of paper that had a scripture on it on my door as a kid. It was laminated and had a picture of an eagle on it. To her, this scripture was specifically and prophetically what she would call "my" scripture. She said she knew this particular scripture was mine, almost like a name I bare, and that God had placed this over my life. 

Moms . . . what an incredibly powerful weapon against all enemies and blessing to her children when in the committed and submitted service to the Lord. 

The scripture read:

 "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint."

-Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

    I can't ever forget that verse for it is forever a part of me now . . . a tattoo upon my heart. That powerful scripture has helped to shape and mold me from within, distilling a foundational truth in my life that brings peace when there may not be any more hope left for me.  

This is hope. 

This is my hope for sure. 

This Hope is a living and breathing being . . . with an eternal heart and a soul . . . with emotions and thoughts towards me. It is through relationship with our Creator where we learn to hope . . . and what true hope even is. 

It is the kind of hope that comes seemingly out of nowhere. In the place where we feel as though nothing good could ever come through for us in our time of dire need, this Hope is unprecedented. It is without the bounds of natural capabilities and goes beyond what we can comprehend.

It's the kind of hope that settles a battle within us.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength..." (NIV)

It silences fear.

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength..." (NLT)

It moves what seemingly mountainous terrain challenges our path in this life we live every day, and it creates a way where there shouldn't be one.

"But those who wait upon God get fresh strength..." (MSG)

This Hope doesn't abide by any laws of anything here on earth or what we would understand. This Hope we have is more wildly untamed than our circumstances as it is an enemy to cynicism and skepticism.

"But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power..." (AMP)

This is our hope. 

He is our creator and our friend . . . our greatest lover and fiercest defender . . . our advocate who will stand by our side until we have found victory in this life, battle after battle, Hope is there. 

He is our hope. 

    To me it's simple. Without Him we have no hope, yet with Him, we have nothing short of the truest and purest hope there ever will be. This isn't just some sweet worship song that we sing in church or a solid title to a hard hitting message preached at us. 

This is real, right now, like gravity to the earth. This is our reality, as alive as you are with breath in your lungs, He is our eternal hope, right now . . . right where you are. 

    I love the different translations and how they culminate this picture for us, that of finding a hope being centered around relationship with Hope himself. 

In a relationship, there must be trust. At some point we must wait on the other . . . and at some point there must be some kind of looking to the other with great vulnerability in expectation for who we know them to be. Whether we realize this or not, this is how we get through each day, a constant letting go of all attempts to control even when we are tempted to.

That is all keys to finding the greatest hope we could ever find in this life through our Father. 

    The Hebrew translation for our English word "wait" is qavah. Its primitive root means to bind together perhaps by twisting. Its deeper meanings would amount to collect and gather, to look patiently towards and tarry or wait for or upon. 

Something that always stuck out to me though is this particular use of that Hebrew word. It is the part of it that means to "wait on" as a good server would at a respected restaurant to their table. 

What a beautiful depiction that portrays us having humility towards the One who would give us all life if we would but be there to receive it as we waited upon our great Hope every day. 

This is hope. 

This is where our strength comes from. 

Jesus has made a way so that God's spirit may dwell within our very being, to be one with Him, and to have the choice to wait on Him hand and foot. 

What a honor. 

This isn't slavery here. I'm talking about the highest honor, to carry out the will and heart's desires of the Almighty God, the King of kings and Lord of lords. 

What is hope?

Let's not make the same mistakes now that we know the truth . . . to ask such a thing, for now if not before, we know better. This isn't about what hope is anymore. The more accurate question surrounding truth is, "Who is hope?"

That's more like it, but we know the answer to that, don't we.

Now let's live it out.