So, we were made to wonder, but never meant to do it alone and on our own.
We are in a constant state of wonder . . .
It draws us out. It keeps us from becoming too comfortable with what we know and leads us with allure and curiosity to venture outside the bounds of certainty.
Even in the smallest every-day questions we still wonder, and wonder is what we were created to do, among many other things.
It brings life to our great journey here on earth, giving almost a sense of purpose to cling to as we take each step forward.
We wonder so we take a step.
We are curious so we scoot closer . . . press in and push through until our questions have been answered.
Wonder, if we allow it, leads to discovery.
Oh how rich the reward in which could be ours when we discover something we never have before. I believe that is one of the ways God draws us to His heart . . . beyond religious dutiful obsessions and empty works of our motivations and intentions. It makes something real to us that maybe before was only a matter-of-fact.
Wonder speaks to the language of our heart, which is knowing through experiencing rather than just knowing about it.
Wonder bellows past anything that is the fat and is leaned out to the rawness of our desires and passions and longings to cause us to step into what truly lies within the seemingly deep uncharted sea that is our hearts.
The beautiful part is this . . .
God welcomes us to wonder, even if it begins with a mess, but He only wants to be involved to lead us in our wondering.
He never has rejected me when I have come to Him with questions . . . with my wonderings . . . for He knows my heart was born with many. In fact it doesn't surprise Him, but offers an opportunity to draw close to me while I approach Him with what it is that I am wondering about. He is our Father. He is the best father we could ever hope for, always patient with our questions and never annoyed by our curiosity.
Many times in fact, it has indeed drawn me closer to Him to ask Him questions and invite Him into the places of my heart that are wondering many different things. It has instead turned my focus from everything else to Him, where I find Him filling a need in me that only He could in the first place.
If you have believed you will offend God by questions you maybe think of as "faithless" or ones that would openly admit you don't actually trust Him like you want to . . . that doesn't take Him by surprise. He knows our hearts and knows our thoughts . . . and knows where we are coming from. He invites us to have the kind of relationship that warrants intimacy through simply being ourselves, even if that means we are questioning maybe where He is in our lives while going through difficulties. The closeness He desires with us won't ever come from us being "good enough" doing "good things" because we could never earn the place only Jesus could make possible.
That's not what He signed up for when He chose us long ago, for Him to place conditions on whether we could come to Him with our wonderings or not.
He knows that with us comes mess, imperfection, and questions.
I can't help but think of how children ask their parents about a hundred questions each day. Their curiosity sometimes gets ahead even of what they can absorb because they may sometimes ask the same question more than once. As much as a parent loves their kid, eventually it can get tiresome having a small human wondering with a seemingly never ending thought-processor rivaling NASA's super computers. At the same time, I have seen the great expense of patience flow from a loving parent that most likely could only come from that parent and no one else!
Yet, if we as humans can even be remotely understanding in dealing with and helping a child's wonderfully developing mind, how much more would our perfect Father who has chosen to live amongst us and in us simply to be closer to us listen to our never ending load of questions?
What a bond . . . what a closeness and unfathomable intimacy it would build between us and Him if we would allow Him to be a part of our wonderings.
I often ask Him, "Father, what do you think about this?"
I long to know His perspective on the things I face and go through, good and bad and I often desperately need to hear His voice in the midst of my tireless wonderings, for it brings truth to a confusion of lies . . . and peace to the endless crashing waves of life's diverse situations.
I have made enough mistakes and have failed enough times to know that without Him, my vision becomes dark and I don't see clearly.
I ask Him questions quite often . . . and I wait for Him to answer.
We were made to wonder.
He always answers but He doesn't always answer in the way we want or even expect. Sometimes I am asking the wrong questions because my thoughts are wondering the wrong thing because what I'm seeing is causing my perspective to be focused on the wrong part.
But we are still made to wonder.
The beauty though is it all becomes very clear and sure and certain after hearing Him.
So, we were made to wonder, but never meant to do it alone and on our own.
I remember when I was a boy, I would ask my dad a million questions. I looked to him as the guy who had an answer for every little thing I would wonder about and he rarely would ever say he didn't know because he usually could at the very least give his opinion or theories about whatever it was I was wondering. It gave me a great sense of security being able to go to Him with my many questions.
I say that because with all those unanswered questions, I felt completely insecure and unsure about everything.
It's funny how that works . . . where we look for security and how simple it actually is when we find it.
In that same way, we were meant to find security in our Father God who knows exactly what we are actually wondering about. It is funny when He answers my questions with something I would have not thought about or even saw in my limited perspective. But again, I was not created to find those answers on my own. I was in fact created to have missing pieces which could be found in communing in the most beautifully intimate and deepest relationship I have ever known with Him.
And it all starts with wonder.
It is where we find ourselves gazing at the stars in all their brilliant and captivating light show that leaves us with more questions than answers . . . and in the end, we simply just must say, "Wow, they are beautiful."
Approaching God can sometimes be that way. We typically have much more questions than answers, yet there is an inevitable case that is stated after seeing the incredible extent He has gone to in order to love us in the smallest every-day ways and we are left with having to admit, "I may not know exactly who You are, but I have to say, You are wonderfully amazing and beautiful."
People who find themselves questioning God yet looking to human sources for answers will always stay in a place of wonder we were never meant to. Left to our own answers, we stray far from what God intended for us and why He created us to wonder at all.
Yet we all do that.
I remember one night, years ago, I was sharing with my dad some questions I had about a relationship that had me pretty troubled. I remember seeing his face after I asked him what he thought and saying,
"I don't know what to say and I don't want to say the wrong things . . ."
I knew from his face in his heart he felt inadequate and without the proper tools for the job, as most fathers I am sure feel at times.
But I looked him square in the eyes and told him with all my heart,
"Dad, you don't have to have the right answers. That's not why I came to you in the first place. I just wanted to talk to you about it. I just want you to be my dad . . . I just want to hear what you have to say."
That's all of our hearts represented in that moment.
The only difference is God never feels inadequate, for we can find the greatest sense of security in knowing that He only comes with truth and lights our path in ways that brings infathamable amounts of hope in the most seemingly hopeless of situations.
Right now where you are, take a just a few minutes and instead of trying to "quiet your thoughts" like so many of us try so hard to do, stop!
Instead, begin to allow those thoughts to surface. Let them float to the top of your mind so they are all you see and right in front of your face.
Stop trying to control them and wrestle them down like an animal from a zoo loose in the streets of your thoughts.
Now point them all to God.
There is no place of fear here . . . no place for shame or hiding.
Don't hide from Him, for He sees everything anyways.
Instead, ask Him what you are wondering.
Your sense of wonder is how He created you.
So be free . . . free to wonder.
Wonder with Him.
