Is It Enough?

Nothing good comes from me carrying a “God” load that only our Father can

I’m always wanting more.

And I fear that it takes away from what I already have. 

At least, I know it can. 

It can cause my eyes to wonder too far from where I am . . . from what I have.

It can cause me to not be present in the moments that matter because I am focused elsewhere. 

And I’ve found that it leaves me not truly appreciating all God has given me and where He has already taken me because I am so bent on where I’m going next or what I will obtain next. 

This is the question that haunts me typically:

“Is it enough?”

If I was honest . . . really honest, I would say it’s not enough, for, I am always wanting more.

There is some good that comes from this I suppose. 

Wanting to be better as I grow and learn more of what I can in any situation or circumstance is a good thing.

Wanting to excel more at what I do and not settle for what so many others around me settle for, which is always less than what they are capable of, is a good thing as well. 

Surely there is good that comes from those desires and not being content with where I am or what I have in that sense. 

But, like with everything in this world, there is a dark side where the light does not shine.

This desire can cross a line where I would honestly admit it ceases to be “good” and becomes a way I may fail. 

I tend to weave in and out of the two. 

The only way to know the difference is simple:

“God, what do You say about it?”

“What do You think?”

Novel idea, I know . . . but how often do I actually ask Him which is which? 

I can’t think of another approach that would actually make a difference but I don’t ask Him as much as I should. 

Regardless, God has to be the one to tell me, “That is enough . . .” or “You have all you need.”

He has to be the one to tell me that I have all I have for a reason and a purpose and need nothing more . . . or not.

He has to be the one to tell me, “That’s not enough, son. Do more . . . become more. I’ll help you.”

Left to myself, I will usually take the easier way out.

Whether it’s thinking I’m not enough and or I don’t have enough of what I think I need, the only truth to either one God alone knows.

Burning myself out from trying to always “be better” . . . I will become lost in my search if I don’t have the answer to this question “Is it enough?“

I will say this . . . there is no greater peace than knowing which is which. 

When God is the One answering that question, it is with total finality and it feels good to have a direction.

A man can get lost without direction.

When He tells me, “You have all you need and you are right where you’re suppose to be,” I believe and trust Him.  

When He tells me, “You can do better. I know it’s a lot more work but you can do better,” I believe that too and trust Him.

It actually takes the pressure away from every possible failure or success being on my shoulders alone. 

Nothing good comes from me carrying a “God” load that only our Father can. 

I don’t want to miss where I am right now because I am thinking about where I’m not or what I don’t have.

I don’t want to take for granted all God has given me because I’m so caught up in focused on what I think I need that I don’t have. 

I want to humbly submit as a man to my God-given portion, whatever that may be.

To humbly learn and grow when I need to or humbly receive what more is given when it is time. 

Only our Father knows one from the other . . . so let us ask Him which is which.

Life Eternal

What was promised to us long ago is a piece etched from the greatest love story we will ever know

On this earth, you’ll make memories . . . of moments that you can never have back again . . . but you once had them, if for but the briefest of fleeting moments, you did once have them. 

That is the bittersweetness that is living. 

In some way or another, most want to live life to the fullest, but few are willing to let go of the short moments that come and go while living. 

When you’re young, this is hard to comprehend fully. 

So, childhood into youth allows oneself to be almost exempt from these wretched laws of this time here on earth . . . at least while ignorant of them in their entirety. 

Eventually though something snaps and the once lightness of youth is replaced without permission for a sudden and heavy lingering darkness.

I have wanted so badly to take in certain special moments I’ve lived in and through the same way I wish I could re-live those moments when looking back on them after they have come and gone. 

I am usually more soft-hearted when looking back upon beautiful and rich memories . . . that of which I could somehow go back to.

Sadly I tend to be more thankful and appreciative of them than I am in the moment I’m living them. 

Why is that?

Worrying about stupid things . . . little things getting the best of me . . . subtle stresses of an everyday grind tend to take away from what this life has to offer. 

Even when I try to ignore the stresses that knock at my thought’s door . . .

Even when I am wanting to with every part of me, I cannot seem to take in moments for what I realize they are to me after they are long gone, never again to be lived. 

Yes, life takes much from us, but we do gain some really beautiful things along the way.

What a depressing concept, I mean, really. 

It’s no wonder people search for more . . . because somewhere, deep down in our very being, something more exists.

So we hold on to a hope that somehow, someway we can hold on to things longer than what seems possible.

That is why we take hundreds of photos on one vacation or trip.

That is why we have pictures of loved ones and dear memories all around us . . . in our bedrooms . . . even work spaces . . .

We are being told by a primal tattoo written upon our hearts that there is indeed more to this life . . . at least there was meant to be. 

I refuse to stay searching for something so foolish, for I know it will be in vain . . . at least on this side of heaven.

No, we were created for more, surely, but, just like the moments that turn into memories we will never again relive or revisit, there is something unreachable here on earth.

That is the most bitter part of outlives here.

The immortal living in a mortal structure.

But, what good is a struggle in a story without something like hope to pull you through?

God has given us that. 

No, it isn’t that easy . . . but it is that simple. 

In fact, God warned us, in a fatherly act of kindness, life will be hard.

He promised that life would be missing something that can not be found here the way we want it to be.

The deeper translations is depicting us facing moments where we will feel confined and without options to escape what we are in.

That is a description of life without God. 

But Jesus’ last promise before ascending into heaven was this:

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“ . . . but take courage, for I have overcome the world”

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God reassured us, like the strong and nurturing husband He is to us as the bride . . . that we would have a hope.

The word “overcome“ used there translated to infer a battle and a victory that was carried off from it.

God fought the battle we could not win ourselves . . . and made it possible again to be eternal in life with Him.

This is not a religion for this did not come from any man’s doing.

What was promised to us long ago is a piece etched from the greatest love story we will ever know.

He gained back the eternal world we lost and gave us hope from a broken world that would have in and of itself left us without.

For what is life if not life eternal?

There is no life without eternity. 

And life without eternity is death. 

God fixed something broken . . . bridged a gap that was a chasm . . . and He gave us an eternal life that we don’t yet have here on earth . . . but one day . .

We will. 

And it gets better . . . for this is only something His children would understand. 

The eternal life we will one day have will be with Him, and there is nothing better nor more fulfilling.

-scripture used found in John 16:33