Perception of A Moment

God loves to have us caught up in moments that make impacts on us that shake us and leave imprints on us that mold us

I am starting to realize more and more as I grow older that it isn’t the moments in life that are necessarily special. 

It is our perception of them that makes them special. 

I have ironically learned this in the most backward of ways. 

I’ve noticed that moments I thought were “supposed” to be special didn’t feel that way . . . in fact, they felt simple and uneventful. 

But I also have noticed that I can be numb to them. 

And if I am numb to them, as special as they were meant to be, they are always at the mercy of the current condition of my heart. 

Yes, certain moments can sometimes indicate where we may have lost heart either in small or big ways.

Moments in general can reveal where we have possibly disconnected from our hearts and have been instead pushing through into the future without any kind of processing them other than, “That was nice. What’s next.“

It seems to be the way of our culture.

“Focus on the now but live for tomorrow.“

That is how years can seem to feel like months when we look back but sitting in traffic feels like an eternity while within that frustrating moment.  

God works in moments.

He fulfills our futures, sure.

But He uses moments to get us to the future we seem to crave so badly.

When we aren’t inspired, a simple moment can be a pivotal awakening of inspiration we didn’t know we needed.

Sometimes the moments capture us in ways we didn’t even expect or think we could feel what we feel in them.

God loves to have us caught-up in moments that make impacts on us which shake us and leave imprints on us that mold us.

But those moments still are only as special as we make them. 

God is offering these moments constantly to us . . . lavishly.

He is rich with the arrangements of these moments in our lives and is ridiculously generous in their incomparable varieties and countless quantities.

Sadly, we cannot always control what we “make” of them. 

Our hope though is this:

If our hearts are closely held to our Father’s, we will be most alive, giving us the ability to capture moments for all they were meant to be for us. 

So often we live backwards . . . flipped around . . . to make the moments special instead of keeping our hearts special for those moments. 

We take lavished vacations or go on adventurous trips all the while searching for “special moments.”

For me, all the travels and amazing things I’ve had the opportunity to experience and do, one thing was always true. 

No matter the moment, if I was not ready for it, it was just another moment in time. 

Have you ever wondered how the simplest of moments in life can sometimes be the most life-changing or ones you seem to remember forever?

I know it catches me off guard quite often when the seemingly “big“ moments feel smaller and sometimes the “simpler“ ones I wish could freeze forever in time.

Again, it’s not the moments themselves in life that make them special. 

It is our perception of them that does.

Morning Routine

There seems to be a heaviness to our souls that demands attention and lets us know when we have, for far too long, neglected them

    Sometimes I wake up and don’t know what to do with myself. Because my schedule through out the week is not a typical “nine-to-five & off-on-weekends” type of situation, each new day can be very different than the previous.

It’s easier actually when I have a meeting to be at or something pressing that needs attention soon after I wash up and get ready for the day.

But, what about when I wake up and there isn’t anything I necessarily have to do or need to get working on until later in the day? The thought of that will at times send me into an embarrassingly what seems to be short-lived panic.

If I don’t have a significant someone in my life to text “good morning” to . . . or a place to be at a certain time . . . or someone telling me what to do and when it needs to be completed by . . . when I am left with only me and God, at least for a moment, it seems like I am suddenly lost.

    In my soul I feel something that can’t be explained away by mere boredom or simply not knowing what to fill my time with.

It is much deeper than that.

There seems to be a heaviness to our souls that demands attention and lets us know when we have, for far too long, neglected them.

In fact, I think it is some strange depth in awareness to each passing moment knowing I will never get them back as they never stop rushing by like a fast moving river against my legs.

So, I feel something like pressure mounting upon my early states of thought processes as I am more vulnerable waking up at the beginning of the day before anything has really happened or started.

The best way I can think to describe it is left-overs from unprocessed experiences and emotions that linger in our hearts if not given attention to.

In those moments, I always have a choice to make. 

Do I take that "lost" feeling to God, or do I pacify it by distracting myself with things that instantly take my mind off of it?

Whether we realize it or not, for this reason, I think most of us have a “morning routine” or something similar because it gives us some sense of structure or order to what could seem like an overwhelming sea of choices to take on a day we really have no idea what to expect from it.

One of my closest friends showers every morning before he begins any day.

I have known many people to blast music on the drive to school or work, a sort of mindless attempt to prolong not fully waking up until they have to.

Another buddy of mine heads straight for a computer or TV screen to catch up on some current events in the world when he is waking up.

My Dad has had to recently start stretching each morning because his back would give him so much trouble. Now it is a daily routine, giving him a constant “normal” in a life that can at times seem to be unpredictably not.

    I remember talking to a buddy who shares a common routine with me in spending more time than most making coffee. We talked about how it does indeed give us a very small yet significant source of accomplishment first thing before our day starts.

    It’s a routine now for me to wake up, brush my teeth and wash my face . . . go down stairs and because I am usually pretty significantly dehydrated, drink lots of water while my goose-necked kettle heats up to pour over my beloved coffee grounds.

Sure it is a small thing but I would be fooling no one if I said I didn’t rely on that every day for some tiny result of getting me past the first 30-45 minutes of each day.

What is your morning routine?

So, is it wrong?

I don’t think it is any more wrong than my Dad stretching each morning or my buddy jumping in the shower.

Is it necessary?

I think it is or else so many of us would not have some similar routine each day that we undoubtedly rely on to get us through the beginnings of it.

    God never asks us to not be human, at least not here on this side of heaven. I could be wrong but I also don’t think He wants to micro-manage our habitual daily routines like some CEO wanting his company to run more efficiently. He doesn’t look at our lives as a means to make a profit, so He isn’t worried about the small amounts of our day that aren’t necessarily reasonable or logically productive.

Could I make coffee each day in a quicker and more efficient way? Sure I could . . . In fact it would be much easier and much quicker to not make a pour-over coffee and just use the dang Kureg.

Does my buddy need a shower every morning?

No, probably not considering he takes one the night before and when he does in the morning, he usually just stands in there for a while letting the hot water help to wake him up.

Does my other friend need to stay caught up on current events in the world to make it through the day? No, I really don’t think it is necessary considering he teaches music for a living and also plays piano for his church.

    It is simply a part of being human to have not only routine habits, but to also rely on them in a symbiotic type of dependance.

I can tend to be really hard on others around me in terms of pushing them to be better and helping them to see their potential.

It has served me well as I have fought for those around me who need encouragement and maybe just someone to give them a bit of an uncomfortable change in perspective they may not see on their own.

But I can also see how I have pushed a little too hard at times and caused some pain I never intended to inflict simply because I prematurely wanted them to be farther along than they currently were.

Time is such a powerful part of our lives.

It dictates so much . . . at least more than we want to admit.

Sometimes there is no getting around time . . . and taking time out of the equation means destroying any possibility of change or true growth.

In the same way you can’t rush the beauty of a seed sprouting from the ground, we cannot rush our lives moving and turning into what God wants them to become.

Again, He doesn’t look at our lives with the mentality of “time-is-money.”

And if God Himself cannot and won’t rush something that needs time, what right do I have to even attempt to?

I say this because what I have noticed is, while I do this to others, yes, I more importantly do this to myself.

I say more importantly because it actually all starts with how we are with ourselves.

I have heard it said this way:

How you treat yourself is how you will treat others.

God says it this way . . .

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“ . . . Love your neighbor as yourself”

-Mathew 12:31

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    So, do you think God is not okay with us loving ourselves? And what does that look like?

Here is an example.

Because my Mom has seen how hard I can be on myself, she often reminds me to be patient with myself. She often reminds me to give myself time and to not rush the things in my life . . . to not put so much pressure on everything to be perfect or to turn out what I would deem “right.”

She is basically saying, “Chris, you’re not exactly loving yourself very well expecting so much from yourself and it is going to hinder how you love others.”

Most importantly, it will effect how I allow God to love me.

If I think I am not good enough, I will stiff-arm God from thinking I amgood enough . . . so the cycle continues viciously coming back around to the same thing . . . looking at time as the enemy.

No wonder sometimes I wake up and feel so much pressure on myself? 

If perfection is all I am wanting, I won’t ever start anything.

And so it goes . . .

That God is very patient towards us so much so that He waits for us to get some silly small things out of our system in order to walk with us each day.

    He is not the one who is being hard on us and if He does want change, it will happen over time and not in a single moment.

As we are taking steps with Him while following His lead to the best of our abilities, He is okay where we are right now because He knows we are not going to stay there.

He knows the plans He has for us and He knows it is exceptionally necessary for time to be factored into the equation of our journey with Him.

He will not rush us ahead because it would destroy us.

So He allows us to be human . . . to have our daily quirks and routines and whatever else helps to get us through the day.

Here is the most important part so don’t miss this.

All He wants, more than anything else, is to be invited into it all.

Have we forgotten and lost track of why we were created?

Either we are each little corporations and God is the CEO or we are His children who He wants to spend time and walk out each day with.

    Again, when He wants us to change and to grow, it won’t be in a single moment of robotic commands that send instant results. I have heard it said that if you want instant results, go to McDonalds.

If you want God’s results, walk out each day with Him and over time, like a tree planted along the river, you will grow fruit in each season prospering in all you do.

He is the river. We are the tree nourished by His flow.

Keep the morning routine.

Just make sure to invite Him in it.

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“And he will be like a tree firmly planted [and fed] by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season; Its leaves never wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers [and comes to maturity].”

-Psalm 1:3

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(Photo: the first one was taken in Yellowstone)

Taking Your Time

In that moment, as I stood with a stupidly large grin across my face, my entire insides felt warm with a hint of shameful foolishness for I had been delightfully proven wrong

    Have you ever had an impatient car tailgate you and finally pass you up and as they zoom past you, you both end up at the same red light?

Whenever that happens I can't help but think, "All that for nothing."

I guess it's a good reminder that we are extremely flawed, as it is the reality I suppose to be human beings. I'm not saying I have never done that, and the same is most likely true for you as well.

I can't help but think though how often we do that every day with how we approach . . . well, everything really.

    From the second we wake up our day probably starts in a fluster of thoughts pouring in about obligations, responsibilities, and even agendas we either want accomplished or simply desires we want fulfilled. We have goals and dead lines, schedules to juggle, and all the while we find little escapes along the way . . . things like our favorite cup of coffee or little guilty pleasures that seem to get us through a rather overly stressful day.

It is non-stop and it rarely, if ever, slows down unless we make a conscious or intentional effort to slow down.

I could throw a few scriptures up that speak specifically on these matters and it would probably be things you have heard before, but is that really what we need?  . . . Another scripture we misinterpret into thinking, "Yep, there I go again not measuring up to living a certain way."

I will let God be the One who leads you in that this time around, but what I want to do is simply tell you this:

Slow down . . .

    So many times I will be driving to work or to meet up with friends or tackle something on the to-do list of things I want done, and needless to say I am speeding. I will hear God gently but firmly tell me, "Slow down, son."

For some reason when He says it, it doesn't just apply to my fast driving . . . it shoots deep down into places I probably didn't want Him poking around in. 

I have been exposed.

It wasn't just about driving fast, anxiously wanting to get somewhere. God would reveal to me in that moment that I was actually living life that way and it would lovingly convict me. Me speeding around was just a symptom of something much deeper inside of me.

 It's funny how that works, God needing to point out a symptom that goes deeper than just speeding or losing our temper over something small or finding ourselves helplessly dissatisfied with our lives.

It all points to a symptom that needs attention in the intangible terrain of our soul, rooted down in a dark place that desperately needs God's touch.

    A couple of weeks ago, I went for a trail run at one of my favorite local places to get away in nature. As I was running, I kept getting this sense that I needed to walk and not run. It literally wouldn't go away either. It just kept going on and on and on until I finally realized it was God telling me to just walk.

I told Him I didn't want to and that I only had a certain amount of time before I had to go to work. I told Him that I went there to run so I was going to run.

He kept on and on until finally I said, "Fine! I'll just walk . . . I give up."

The second I did, I got the sense that He just wanted me to slow down.

This probably seems like a silly thing but think about all the "silly" things we stubbornly hold on to until we finally give up and stop fighting what it is God wants for us. For the record, He is never wrong and always knows what's best for us.

    So as I was catching my breath and trying to enjoy the slow pace I then found myself noticing the trees and all the sounds, actually enjoying myself for once . . . until I saw something as my eyes were drawn to movement to my left through the trees.

It was a huge buck standing there with its thick neck and strong stance. I began to count its antlers and he was at least an eight pointer with a rack so wide running across his ears and above his shoulders that he was rubbing against some low hanging tree limbs as he cautiously moved. 

He knew I was there but couldn't see me as I stood as still as a statue watching even how I breathed so as to not alert him to being a possible threat.

I couldn't take a picture because there were too many trees to look past but it was close enough to see him in detail, and boy was it a sight. I just took it all in, almost frozen in a time that seemed to not exist the way I was used to it existing like.

I enjoy those specific trails because of the sense of wildness not too far from where I live yet far enough where you can let yourself escape the hustle and bustle for a bit. Seeing deer is a pretty normal occurrence, but what I was seeing? That was something special that I had not seen in the almost two years I had been going to those trails.

    In that moment, as I stood with a stupidly large grin across my face, my entire insides felt warm with a hint of shameful foolishness for I had been delightfully proven wrong.

"That's why You wanted me to slow down . . . that's why You wanted me to walk and not run."

I would have missed that moment.

Could I have lived without it? Sure.

Could I have had another moment some day like that one? Of course I could have.

But is that the way we are to live?

Is that the way God wants us to live . . . missing these amazing moments because of our childish and foolish stubbornness to do what we want to do?

    I am thankful that He doesn't let us stay in that place. I am thankful that He pursues our lives to such an extent that we actually find the life we have wanted all long to live simply by surrendering ourselves to a much much better way of living . . . living His way.

It also hit me hard that I had misinterpreted why He wanted me to slow down.

So often I accuse Him of being some kind of "buzz-kill" or taking the fun out of life. He tells me to not go on a trip and I think, "Gosh, He just wants me to be boring."

He tells me to let go of a certain expectation of a relationship or opportunity that comes my way and I think, "He is withholding good things from me."

But time and time again I have seen the proof that in fact He was protecting me from, well, myself.

We are foolish to think we know what we want based on what we think is best for ourselves and our lives. 

That kind of thinking doesn't leave room for God to be lord over the areas that we try to be the god of.

    I would have missed an incredible moment that makes life worth living. Me accomplishing my own goals or doing what I want has never given me a sense of purpose in this life . . . at least not a lasting one . . . not one that strikes true down to my core. But when God leads and directs us, we find more of a life we are rarely even ready for! It becomes truly living rather than just surviving though the day with a few stress-relievers along the way.

That happened weeks ago and yet I can still imagine myself standing there, almost not even caring about the deer as much as the realization of how much God loves me and fathers me into the very detailed things I would enjoy.

I can't say the same thing about some of the rushes of each day, blazing through them like someone is chasing after me. Every day can either be a rush of something I won't remember in a week, or it can be led by a Father who loves you to the extent that moments like the one I had would be almost a normal occurrence.

Maybe slowing down and taking your time may not be such a bad idea after all.

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(Photo: the deer were taken near the mountains of Big Sky, Montana)

A Different Kind of Adventure

Adventure isn't found where you are . . . but it is found in who you are called to be and who you are called to become

    Our interpretation of our lives can sometimes be so far off from what is accurate that we can become envious of the lives others are leading thinking they are somehow exempt from unhappiness. We aren't meant to live in dissatisfaction towards our lives, but sometimes we get to that point through time and trial.

For me being single, it is easy to look at someone else’s career or wife and family and think to myself, “They must be insanely happy . . . and I hope I get there one day.”

That is the dangerous place I speak of . . . the place where we find ourselves taking for granted the lives we have been given and looking elsewhere for something more. We may take a glance at our every-day routine and wonder where the adventure is. Frustration is sure to follow if we allow those thoughts to fester down a small path of discontent.

What if we could see our lives right now as the adventure we have been longing for?

What if we could make sense of all the navigating we have to do each day? What if there was a greater purpose to all the unexpected challenges and life's demands that seem to completely miss what we truly want?

I hope there is a clear picture being painted here, a picture of the misplacement of our desires and materializing at least in our imaginations what we want for our lives because we have believed the lie that if only our circumstances changed, we would then be happier than we are right now.

The truest of adventures doesn't come from circumstances . . . adventure comes from God. If He is dwelling in us, then true adventure comes within ourselves.

You were meant to live form your heart . .  . "for everything you do flows from it." God created us this way . . . not to determine our fulfillment from the grander circumstance but by His eternal life flowing through us, constantly. (Proverbs 4:23)

    I have seen many men, including myself, who have taken on the campaign of trying to be "good Christian men" according to their own idea of what it should look like, or worse, what others think it should be.

Yet, all the while we were only suppressing our desire and passion that is the actual person God created us to be. That is as successful as caging a horse and demanding it to be strong enough to take on days of hiking through rugged terrain. It is no wonder so many men are lacking passion and just plain aliveness in their souls. You do that and you are setting yourself up for depression from suppression. We aren't meant to live that way. We are made in His image, bearing the fullness of passionate life flowing through the underbelly of our soul's rhythm as it was meant to be synchronized with His.

Think about this: Would you want someone to pay for your meal?

Sure, we all would . . . but would it matter if that person really wanted to do it?

If they told you, “I really don’t want to pay for your meal right now but I know it is the right thing to do so that makes me feel obligated and I would rather bite the bullet of buying your meal than feeling the agonizing guilt from my own conceptual principles I have built that tell me this is what being a ‘good man’ looks like.”

I would probably have stopped that dude at “I really don’t want to pay for your meal.”

Sound familiar?

    We do it all the time. One decision after another, all in a desperate attempt to either escape feeling guilty or coming from some sort of self-inflicted sense of duty and obligation. I am not saying doing what we know is right is wrong, but apart from God leading us in what is right, how can we be sure we know what in fact is right in the countless situations we are in? He knows our hearts and most of the time, we are pretty aware of where we are too. So even though we can get away with choosing something that looks good, deep down it isn't where our hearts actually are . . . and to God, they are one of the same.

The problem is it will make us look good in front of others and it's a problem because after a while, we begin to believe that too . . . that we are that good.

>>Mathew 15:8 comes to mind here as we search the trenches of our own stench.

Another scripture that comes to mind is when we see God’s heart in 1 Samuel 15 where He desires obedience for our sake rather than sacrifice for ours. God wants us to do what Adam did not in the garden of Eden. He wants us to be naked before Him, not hiding ourselves but letting it all hang out. I believe it is a form of almost punishing ourselves as we seem to incessantly strive to earn His favor through good deeds as to look good in front of others as well as thinking it pleases God.

We desperately need a perspective change.

For some it is hard to swallow that sometimes He doesn’t want us to do the “good” things we think we should. 

We must be careful the systems we have created to define for ourselves what is good and what is wrong, for we may miss God completely pursuing our own devices of truth. Indeed that is what our Creator never intended for us to be the judge of, the one calling what is in fact right or wrong. Remembering the temptation from the tree of knowledge of good and evil and becoming "like God" ring a bell? 

Again, we desperately need Him to change our perspectives into seeing ourselves and our lives differently void of what we think.

This is our only hope, that God can show us what we are not seeing. He can walk us through those wildly uncharted places each day seems to bring.

We have a heavenly Father who doesn’t want our good deeds . . . He wants our hearts.

The “good things” we want to do to please Him come from us spending time with Him and having Him change our perspective to see His. They come from that place of spending time with Him like fruit comes from a well nourished tree in the Spring time. This is where our view of our lives becomes redeemed.

    I just spent some time with a good friend on a trip in Montana around where he grew up. We both live in Texas, so needless to say, there is not nearly the same sort of breathtaking beauty we had just witnessed in places like the Paradise Valley and Yellowstone as we find in the lonestar state.

On the flight headed home as we were passing the Grand Tetons and soaking up the last remaining glimpses of the mountains, I leaned over and asked him playfully, “How are we going to go back home after seeing all this?” He laughed out loud and I smirked as we stared out of the window. It sort of hit both of us I think, the reality of our lives being back home in Texas no matter how bad we may have wanted to make a permanent stay in beautiful Montana.

The truth was we were ready for home . . . ready for our families and friends . . . ready for the life we had been given.

Why is that?

How could we be ready somehow to leave such a vast adventure in the raw markings from its Creator we had just experienced?

The answer was simple to us. 

Our truest adventure wasn’t out on those mountains or down in the rivers. It was inside of us. It was anywhere God led us and gave us the opportunity to go because in us we carried the truest adventure of all. 

We carry Him.

Adventure isn’t found where you are . . . but it is found in who you are called to be and who you are called to become.

    I have found adventure in a conversation with my Mom as we talk passionately about what God is doing in our lives.

I have found adventure spending time with my Dad and brother as we pursue large-mouth bass out of a local river.

I have found adventure in encouraging one of my young students as I pour into them the wisdom that has come from my Father, so I bring it to their hearts.

I have found adventure in walking through something painful and hard while cleaving desperately to God because He is my only hope of making it through to the next step.

    Each moment . . . each opportunity . . . whether to us seems big or small offers glimpses of an adventure that we actually desire. They may not look like it in the same way one puzzle piece looks nothing like what the completed puzzle should. That is our lives. Adventure doesn’t come in one big piece. The adventure God offers us comes in pieces, and it is God’s place to arrange them just so.

    If we go chasing our cravings of adventure into the lie that it is where we are, we will be gravely disappointed. I have been all over this country and have seen the kind of awe-inspiring beauty that almost gives you an ache in your soul because you know you cannot take it with you in your pocket or freeze the moment forever. Yet, no matter where I have been, nothing compares to the fulfillment in being who God has called me to be, wherever that leads me to go.

Wherever the adventure takes me, I know that the places aren’t what the adventure actually is. We can think of the places we go as sort of a backdrop in our lives for the things God calls us to but the main event is who He has called us to be.

Take some time right now and sort through things that have been disappointments in your life. It could be in a relationship or circumstance or even simply something you have been wanting to do that just hasn’t happened yet.

Ask God the hard questions weighing on your soul and digging valleys in your heart. Ask Him to change your perspective to see the adventure that is now . . . that is your life.

Now listen to what He says . . . draw near and lean in to His voice. He may show you pictures in your thoughts or you may need to write down some whispers He is telling you.

    The key here is to spend time right now and allow Him to change your perspective. Allow Him right now to exchange the small puzzle pieces you see around you for the much grander big picture that is actually your life.

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(Photos: taken in Ousel Falls Park, Montana and Yellowstone National Park)